Many have written lately about the manipulative sorts who know how to manage impressions but heartlessly prey on your sensibilities to get the better of you. But Steven describes these emotional predators with uncommon clarity and accuracy, in an excellent writing style, and offers spot-on practical advice on how to best protect yourself to boot. A must read!
Praise for Protecting Yourself from Emotional Predators
Dr. George Simon
I’ve read so many books identifying issues with NO solutions or strategies on what to do. You presented very practical and realistic strategies that are within grasp and will make a difference. I got answers, not more questions. You presented real life things to do. Thank you for writing this book and getting this important information out into the world.
This is excellent. The way you explain psychological terms such as ‘empathy’ is really helpful for a lay person like me. And it really helped that you call out the deficiencies of more traditional therapies in dealing with emotional predators. I wish therapists I saw had read your book. Your examples are great.
Like no other book I know, Protecting Yourself from Emotional Predators gives my patients a language to speak about their anguish from traumatic encounters with manipulative and abusive people, and a framework for how to respond. It empowers them to act.
Wolhandler’s book is easy and quick to read. The writing pulls in the reader. His thesis is very clear and the rare times he uses jargon, he defines it clearly (projection, projective identification, lying by omission, etc.).
This fascinating new work is essential reading for anyone who needs help dealing with a manipulative or abusive person and an invaluable adjunct to my psychotherapy work with these patients.
Margaret Jacobs, LCSW, JD
Not since George Simon has this topic been broached with such clarity. Wolhandler takes this topic head on and reminds his readers that Emotional Predators are both real and abundant in today’s society.
Protecting Yourself from Emotional Predators is a must read that reminds the reader that the only one who can protect themself from certain types of people is the reader, so take heed of the simple tools this book offers. Stop second guessing yourself and start asking powerful questions to ascertain whether or not you have been made a target of an Emotional Predator.
Sharon Tessier, MA MS, Ph.D.
This is great. It all rings true! Thank you! Realizing that other people don’t think the way I do has been super helpful with my relations within my family – much more than three therapists were. I was always giving them one more chance and hoping they’d change. Now it really helps to know not to expect them to become different people.
This work offers an important perspective to mental/behavioral health issues that is not currently being addressed in our culture. It provides guidance to help people recognize and protect themselves from emotional predators. Wolhandler approaches this topic in accessible language and provides practical, accessible tools. Application of these ideas is important for the general public and for those in positions of authority in our social institutions (e.g., schools, faith community, justice, mental health, child welfare).
Beverly Kingston, Ph.D.
I really loved this! It speaks to me on a lot of levels and really rings true both for spotting predators and for neutralizing them. Takes narcissists/sociopaths/etc and puts them in a context I can understand and handle. I like how you say not to think of them as humans but rather predators with a human semblance that use human emotion as a lure/trap. I think a big problem with dealing with these kinds of people is that we don’t understand what they’re really like.
Written from a rare position of wisdom. Like no other self-help book I’ve encountered. Articulate, intelligent, and scientific while at the same time readable and relevant…. I mean relevant! I’ve learned an astounding amount. A real gem!!
Laurence A – Entrepreneur
A welcome addition to the self-help literature.
Having worked with patients who’ve been mistreated, I know how difficult it is for them to see their situation and their tormentor clearly. These patients will benefit from your forceful style of writing and your uncompromising attitude toward the problem of victimization and its resolution. Your book gets to the heart of the matter of helping the patient recognize how the predator operates and the importance of “protecting yourself right now.” You provide a stark but true image of the emotional predator as a landmine in the sunlit fields of your life. This book is for people that just don’t get that a person that they love has the unvarnished intent to take advantage, do them harm and make them suffer. Until and unless this insight is achieved the chance of escaping victimization is almost impossible.
Bill Kotsch, Ph.D.
Bill Kotsch, PhD – Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, Santa Fe, NM
Actionable, compassionate, insightful – like no other book on the subject.
If you even think you might need this book – click “Add To Cart” and never look back.
Wolhandler’s many years of practice in the fields of mediation, arbitration and therapy shine through in this no-nonsense guide to surviving the daily challenges of having an emotional predator in your life. My only wish is that this book had come out a decade ago, when I was in the thick of grappling with an especially pernicious divorce. You’ll find yourself breathing a sigh of relief, page after page, as you realize that you are not alone, you are not going mad, and there is a way to handle whatever madness is being thrown at you right now.
As an added benefit, you’ll also learn to understand yourself better – why you are vulnerable to those who would manipulate you, and how to grow from that without losing your soul in the process. Wolhandler’s prose doesn’t tip-toe around the issues, but addresses them head-on with compassion and actionable steps forward, out of the stalemate.
All in all, a timeless book that speaks honest solutions to those problematic persons that the Court system, the workplace and society in general seems unable to handle adequately.
Best book on the topic
As a psychologist, I can honestly say that this book is the best you will find on this topic. Mr. Wolhandler’s work offers a refreshing look at the characterologically compromised. He normalizes what every “victim” encounters when dealing with all clusters of the personality disordered and really lays out how to stay 10 steps ahead of them–whether that’s in family court, while parallel parenting, or in other arenas. He also describes how you can master moving on with your life. Best of all, the book isn’t some heady academic piece. While thoughtfully and intelligently written, it’s highly entertaining while being comforting. If you are someone who has been through the ringer with a person of this ilk, do yourself a favor and buy this book. You will be way ahead of the game for doing so.
This complete guide teaches us everything we could ever need to know about the emotional predators that walk stealthily among us in epidemic proportions. The author, with vast experience, clearly and concisely teaches us how to recognize, strategize against, and protect ourselves from these abusive masterful manipulators. Truly an eye-opener and wake-up call for all of us!
Randi G Fine
Expert Insight Perfectly Delivered to All Readers
I have researched and read many books to help me deal with problem people in past and current (and future) relationships in both my personal and professional lives. Most of them either only offered textbook and cliche perspectives or are written in a fashion that is difficult to grasp.
Steven Wolhandler easily identifies, defines, and explains the many facets of what an emotional predator is and delivers it in such a way that makes so much sense. But most importantly he offers great solutions and guidance in a very structured and easily understandable fashion.
This is the type of book and author for which I have been looking a long time. A must read for everyone.
A must read educational guidebook for Life!
A fantastic book!!! Thank you Steven for arming us with the knowledge and confidence to recognize and deal with the predators in our daily lives. Abusive manipulators will always exist but your insights as to how to recognize and deal with them is helping make the world a safer place, one reader at a time!
Practical advice on how to spot and deal with toxic people
Excellent book on a topic that is unique; very practical advice written in plain English for how to spot toxic people, not take responsibility for them, avoid being manipulated by them, how to deal with them, and generally keep your sanity. Anyone who has had to deal with a toxic person can learn nuggets that they can put to use right away. Highly recommended!
A true eye opener!
What a great read. Steven presents the topic in such a clear and easy to understand way. I purchased the book because I thought I might have an emotional vampire in my life. The book has given me the tools to really understand how to deal with the situation. I highly recommend it.
Daniel T Burns
Help dispensed with heart
This is a practical and down-to-earth guide brimming with compassion, professional and personal insights, and hard earned wisdom.
How to deal with the emotional predator in your life
This author offers practical ways to deal with the toxic people – emotional predators – in your life. Most importantly, the strategies don’t mean you become just like them! I highly recommend this book.
Really helpful book!!!
Excellent and brilliant!!!! Describes them perfectly and perfect tools to use back! Best read on topic ever!
This is an excellent book with great strategies to deal with these toxic types and so much more. Thank you Steven!
Emotional predators are evil! Sociopaths. Not everyone is a decent person, there are those who feed on decent people and they have no shame.
This is a good resource for empowering anyone who is dealing with an emotional predator.